Reflection

Look at me
You may think you see
Who I really am
But you'll never know me
Every day
It's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask
I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

I am now
In a world where I
Have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
What's inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection
Someone I don't know?
Must I pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

There's a heart that must be
Free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why

Why must we all conceal
What we think, how we feel?
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside?

-Christina Aguilera (Mulan)-

***

Well, I'm not being someone else now. But I'm in the middle of trying to be someone else. Something happened. And it makes me think that maybe I would get something I want if I change myself. It's bad. Really bad. That something not only changed myself, but also my mind, my way of thinking. That something even changed my performance, the way I dress. That something even though makes me learn about so many things but it drives me crazy. And I'm tired. I'm going to end all this up now.

That something is a crazy little thing called ****